Ohhh!

Tonight I made myself my first holiday season whiskey and ginger ale! I always call these "highballs" but I think that is officially something else. But my grandma called them highballs and that was the only drink I ever saw here drink. And in moderation at the holidays.

Big Money, Big Jackets

Not really.

If I think of my raise like dog years, I'm doing great.
My library doesn't have much money and my raise is big in our world. Not quite as big in the world known as Chicago. But it is more and .... if I use all of it to pay off credit card bill, I could do that in two years.

Sigh.

Let's talk about SHOPPING instead.

I am thinking of getting this super warm, waterproof/windproof, down insert jacket for winter this year.

Has a waist, so still feminine.
warm for bus stop.

But it is $499! I want it to be cuter for that and worry that in my current big size, I won't see the cute waist the model has and will just look like a pillow.

The other option is this one:



Same story, but only $250.

Two Hearted

Horrifying day filled with meetings and craziness and angry, frustrated people. But also filled with excited, ambitious, dedicated people just looking for ways to do great things.

I'll focus on the latter.

Wore two shoes for the first time in two weeks. And a dress instead of jeans.
Went to work with my hair washed.

Left work exhausted, but enough energy to meet J. at Happy Village for three bottles of Two-Hearted Ale.

Desperately need to write questions for the job interview we are conducting on Friday afternoon, but need to crawl in bed with a book.

Highlight of the day?
Listening to this while walking to the bus stop:

Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing

I hate this video but the only live version I could find was a sing along.
This was the song in my head yesterday morning.

A little bit of beauty in my ears during a pretty horrible time of life. I feel like I have to keep seeking beauty and happiness out and acknowledging it when I find it, or I'll just stop being myself all together. I can't imagine being the person shaped by what I feel right now. What is happening in me right now will make its mark, I'm sure, but it can't take control.

Oh, I also need to seek iron out and will be treating myself to burger at the diner tonight before class. And root beer.

Monday Monday

This week looks unbearable on my calendar. My only goal is to survive until Friday with enough energy to crawl into bed when I get home from work and sleep until the next one. Lab tests came back and even after all this surgery and the vitamins, I am still anemic. No real surprise, I've known that by how I feel. Need to schedule some more tests with embolization doctor to see how much the fibroids have shrunk, need to schedule appointment with regular lady parts doctor to talk about new pills and prescription iron pills. Gah!

I am so frustrated in another area too! Maybe it was a dream, maybe it was a podcast before I fell asleep? But at some point, I heard, or thought I heard, a song I wanted to make sure I never forgot. Maybe it will come to me during the day if I don't think about it.

So many wonderful things in life are elusive these days! I want to hold something amazing right in my hands. Or at least look at it or listen to it. I need something beautiful to come out of my imagination and into my life.

Sunday

Made soup, roasted peppers and watched some episodes of Deep Space 9.

eggs and beer

Amazingly, no eggs were broken even though this is what my shopping bag looked like when I got it home.