Logic and Proportion have Fallen Sloppy and Dead

Okay ....I'm having one of my Grace Slick is a musical genius moments. And I'm singing along, loudly and with hand gestures (similar but not the same as Jazz Hands), with it. When the hookah smoking caterpillar has given you the call, what else can you do? I've also watched enough live footage of White Rabbit from 1968-1972 that I might be convinced to make a Nancy Reagan Just say No to Drugs commercial based on twitchy eyes and grooming alone.

Ask Me when I'm 10 feet Tall

Or do you want to ask me when I'm just small?

Free to Drink Martinis and Watch the Sun Rise

Goal for New Year's Eve: Listen to the three Sound Opinions podcasts about Bob Dylan from April, May and June of 2011.

I had saved them up to listen to with a friend but we never got around to it and now we're not likely to have the time. Every time I look at my iPod they stare out at me to make me feel like a slacker and a loser of opportunities, so I am going to get rid of them.



Bob's hair is exceptionally ... puffy. Looks like maybe he got a blow out.
I love the giant records on the wall.

Know it Sounds Funny

Wow, this is really weird.

Perfect way to end my evening.
Ovaltine.
1977.
Easy (Like Sunday Morning)

Come on, Sugar part 2

Here's another thing that kills my sex drive. It makes me immediately want to collapse on the couch and groan and not move for about 6 hours.

It also makes me want one bad.



I guess this was a big news deal earlier in 2011 called "The New Luther." Some people are saying it is a burger but the first article I read, and the one I want, is fried chicken and applewood smoked bacon on a glazed doughnut.

I can tell I've been eating healthy crap and doing yoga for several days in a row that this sounds so amazing right now.

Come on, Sugar

Dear Rod Stewart,
You can't just pull leopard-skin hot pants on below your baggy vacation T-shirt and sun visor and think you are dressed like a rock star. Even in 1981.

And for Pete's sake is that pubic hair poking out of this striped speedo?!



I will say, this exercise in Rod Stewart photo gazing did serve it's purpose though. Sometimes I get really bummed about not having a sex life but something about Rod Stewart trying to be sexy really makes me stop thinking of sex.

Ooooh Baby, You are Everything to Me ... But Sometimes I Need More

I know this is totally backwards since 2012 brings in the Chinese Zodiac Year of the Dragon, but I keep thinking of Urge Overkill Exit the Dragon.

This is one of those CDs that I have no idea when/where/how I got it but I've had it for most of the time I was in Denver, I don't think when I was in Hamtramck. Where did it come from. Other than having this CD, I can't think of any other connection or memory with Urge Overkill.







Didn't see any live concert footage of View of the Rain and the only video thing was an AIDS commemoration that was way too depressing for the morning.

Be Careful

Spent some time enjoying The Civil Wars Barton Hallow today.

Love this MJ cover too.

Somebody to Lean On

Just watched the documentary about Bill Withers. What an interesting man. I loved the early segment where he talks about writing songs without introductions or songs about friendship or love songs to grandmothers instead of the expected songs about romantic love.

O Christmas Tree

This year I don't hate having a Christmas tree up. I usually only like it for a few days. This year I think I will wait to take it down until next weekend

I even find myself wishing I could see the lights from my bedroom. They are really comforting and cozy to me this year.

Merry Christmas to Me!

I just had one of the most amazing meals of my life!
I decided to try a new recipe with a new ingredient for me: persimmons.

It was so interesting to be adding ingredients to the pan and have absolutely no idea how it would taste.

Onions and olive oil.
Okay.
Add serrano.
Okay.
Chopped persimmons?
No clue.
Ground ginger and mustard? With that? Really?
And now brown sugar and cider vinegar?
Alright.

That chutney topped off roasted fennel-onion-garlic-walnuts and white bean cakes.

I intentionally did not taste anything ahead of time, I waited until it was plated. I know that did not allow me to test seasoning, but I figured I could do that with the next batch: I wanted the fun of raising a fork to my lips and having no idea what I would get. I'm so glad that on top of that, it turned out to be delicious.

GreensDay

Big Ideas and Big Talker here again.
I have a plan.
I guess I should say I have planS.

Even though I have always failed at every attempt at menu planning, tracking food or calories, making workout plans, training programs, saving, credit card repayment schedules ... just about anything that takes sustained effort related to diet, exercise or financial planning ... hope springs eternal and always lives barely below my surface.*

And, in the midst of my need to save money, lose 30 pounds, eat out less, and replace those restaurant meals with healthy options - I've been inspired. By a pretty picture of bok choy that I tore out of a magazine on the train trip home over Thanksgiving.

I want to make one new "greens" recipe each week in 2012. And I'm going to start early and do it for these last days of 2011.

I'd also like to try two new vegetarian recipes each month. That has been inspired by some of the beautiful photos I've seen on some of the Twitter links I've followed.

I can do that, right?
Right.

The other thing I have decided to is to clean up some of the self-pity in this blog over the past three months so i could potentially share it. Before I moved it, my friend "Lars" had the address. Since I moved it, I have not sent him the link since it moved from fun food adventures into self-pity mixed tape with barely veiled comments to another friend I'm not talking with directly these days.

To celebrate my return to delicious food fixation, I might buy some small, pretty plates so when I take pictures they won't look so drab and similar.

*This is the meaning I've decided to take away from a lesson I mentioned to a friend the other day. Hope and renewal is always so close and easy for me to access. Even in my most cynical and depressed stages, I think I am an optimist at heart. My challenge is to sort through the hope and choose which ones to act on. Choose to nurture the hopes that nurture me and learn to accept reality even in the face of hopes that no longer make sense.

Boot Straps, Stiff Upper Lip, Etc...

Alright already.
This is ridiculous.

Today I'm going to do it.
I'm not afraid of Buffalo Gals.
I'm not afraid of "Hey look, mister - we serve hard drinks in here for men who want to get drunk."
I'm not afraid of broken railings and "Why do we have to have so many kids."
I'm not afraid of "Say, brainless, don't you know where coconuts come from?"
And I'm not afraid of the scene where George gets his suitcase that he'll never use.

Nope.
I'm not afraid and this morning I am going to make myself a pot of tea and watch It's a Wonderful Life.

Don't Lean on Me Man, 'Cause You Can't Afford the Ticket

Suffragette City is one of those songs that,
when it comes on and you are walking down the street,
you stand up a little taller
and your stride gets a little longer
and you look straight ahead.

Strut and sway and slide down the sidewalk.

Play It.

Since I don't think I can watch It's A Wonderful Life this year without turning into a puddle, I decided to watch Casablanca instead.

And turned into a puddle.

Museum of Round

I've got news, creative news, zine news, interaction with people who are not on TV and not on Deep space Nine news ... I have signed up to participate in this event.


Quimby’s Presents Our First 24-Hour Zine Challenge Jan 14th-Jan 15th
Perhaps you were not able to participate in the 2011 Revenge of Print Challenge by getting your zine or comic out. Or perhaps you need some encouragement. Do you work well under deadlines? Perhaps you’re addicted to the adrenal rush of zine crafting?

Well, you’re in luck.

The 24-Hour Zine Challenge is for you. Starting Sat, 1/14 at 7pm and going until 7pm on Sun 1/15 here at Quimby’s, we invite you to come in and make your zine within 24 hours. And we’ll let you crash at our pad. By “pad” we mean on our floor.

We’ll provide: paper, minimal scanner use, zine supplies such as a long arm stapler, some food, power strips, temporary free wifi.

You provide: sleeping gear, ideas, stamina, your computer or typewriter (if that’s your thing)

AND THEN! Want to read from your zine here at one of our events? On Sat, Jan 28th we’ll be having the ZINES MADE AT THE QUIMBY’S 24 HOUR ZINE CHALLENGE EVENT.

Please RSVP to info(at)quimbys(dot)com for the 24 Hour Zine Challenge by Wed, Jan 11th. because there is limited space available. Only RSVP’d zinesters will be allowed in the store between midnight and 6am. Visitors are welcome at all other times. The store will be open until midnight (usually we close at 10pm on Saturday nights).

Get your New Year’s zine resolution resolved before the first month of 2012 is over.

Considering that I do not have even ONE of my Museum of Round issues completed or even half-way completed, I figure I can use some sort of motivation.

Can't seem to Catch Them

I see that Bible of the Devil is playing right down the road at Empty Bottle tonight. I've been wanting to see them for years now (obviously not enough to actually see them though!) and would go tonight if I didn't have to check in at the dumb hospital at stupid 6:45am tomorrow morning.

There was also a MOTH show at Haymarket I could have gone to and I thought about movie night to see Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy, Young Adult, or that one in 3-D about the French kid who makes clocks. Hmmm, can't remember his name now. Elmo? Malo? Nemo? Crap, whatever that one is.

Listen to me, pretending I would make Monday night plans if only I could. Unlike every other Monday night when I can.

Hugo!

Mixed feelings about not having tickets to this:


Eat to the Beat:
The Beatles Vs. The Rolling Stones.
Thursday, February 9th at 7 p.m. at Nellcôte

Join Sound Opinions hosts Jim DeRogatis and Greg Kot for a once-in-a-lifetime event celebrating two of the best things in life: Food and Music. This year's Eat to the Beat dining experience is inspired by the classic rock debate: The Beatles vs. The Rolling Stones.

Jim and Greg have teamed up with two acclaimed chefs to create a spectacular multi-course dinner. In one corner, there's "Top Chef" Stephanie Izard of Girl and the Goat cooking to The Beatles. In the other, there's Old Town Social's Jared Van Camp cooking to the Stones. It all goes down February 9th at Van Camp's new West Loop restaurant Nellcôte.

Your $175 donation per person includes courses expertly paired with wine by Tenuta Santomé. You're also invited to join Jim, Greg and the chefs for a VIP reception with specialty cocktails and Maker's Mark for an additional donation of $75.

All tickets are currently sold-out.
Please check back in January as more spots may open up!


Oh well, I can make my own great food and listen to Rolling Stones and Beatles at home anyway.

Stark Snowy Saturday

Woke up this morning to big, fat snowflakes.
Ready to tackle my kitchen disaster .. I need to clean out my fridge.
I have in my fridge:

1. the remains of two chickens I roasted on Monday night and Thursday night
2. ground beef I need to make into meatballs
3. a giant pot of chili and a big package of bacon that need to be divided up and frozen
4. a ham steak
5. a big tub of cranberries soaking in simple syrup that need to be rolled in sugar for candied cranberries
6. two big tubs of yogurt that need to be put into individual serving cups for next week.

I'm feeling ready to tackle it.

I've had breakfast (finished off the last of the quiche).
I talked to my mom on the phone.
I have apot of Earl Grey tea.
I have my apron ready.
I have my iPod, ready to play Hunky Dory from beginning to end.

Let Kitchen Saturday morning begin!

Freakiest Show

Jesus, what do I possible say about the 40th anniversary of Hunky Dory?



Thank God for that album. I can't imagine the world without it.

Dreams and Rest

What a relief to have some sleep.
Although I had strange dreams last night, strange for me at least.

I had a dream I was in a play, called Swamplandia like the new novel that is out. I had read the play once but never rehearsed. I know the first scene involved a long dialogue and then I had to play a trumpet part. I was nervous about all of that already but when we started to perform, another actor starting doing my dialogue and expecting me to respond. It was nothing like the play I had read but I knew I still had to play trumpet since I had the trumpet in my hand.

This morning, I listened to the NPR podcast that was playing when I fell asleep. There was a segment on the trumpet player Dave Douglas and then a review of the best books of 2011, which included Swamplandia.

I really need to stop falling asleep with podcasts on.

Love, she asked for more, But what I gave only made her poor ...

I forgot to mention that I did decide to get a ticket to Dr. Dog in February.

I am excited... although based on my prior experience with Dr. Dog at Double Door when the vocals were so off and based on listening to a bunch of their live shows on YouTube, I have a feeling that live vocals is a consistent weak spot for the band. I think singer guy's a better studio musician ... the rest of the band is great live though.

Black Keys coming soon too .. but at United Center. No point in that kind of show.

Bleary

Too much Holiday Party!

I've never been so glad to have no plans for the evening.
I think I will come home from work tonight, take a nap, and then go to bed.

"It's 6 a.m., Do You Know Where You Are?"

I forgot to post, although Frank Sinatra woke me up at 3am and told me I was a loser, by 5am I was listening to a reading of It's 6 a.m., Do You Know Where You Are? by Jay Mcinerney. Nothing makes you feel like less of a loser than being in your warm bed and reasonably healthy (physically and mentally) while listening to that character!

Believe it or not, even though I love Carver, I have never read any JM. Not short stories or Bright Lights, Big City.

I need to go back to the text, but there were a few sentences that I heard in my headachy, sleepless morning haze (best way to hear it?) that were so gorgeous they stopped me in my tracks. Or whatever the loafing in bed equivalent of "tracks" is. There is some line, and I can't even remember what it is, but I promised myself as I was drowsy that I would track it down and remember it forever. I can't wait to go to Myopic Wednesday night to track it down.

I think I will hate reading this book based on that character ... but I loved the writing. Funny, all the criticism of other white man short story writers of an older generation I have a hard time understanding. Who cares if they are entitled. Sexist. Have a narrow East coast view of the world? For me it is enough of another time and place that it is interesting. Time travel. Another world.

But a clubster white boy in 1984? It just seems cheap and lame and dated. Just the description of the silk jacket that he trades for bread at the end of chapter one walloped me with cheesy Don Johnson.

I wonder if I can get enough perspective to enjoy?
I'll try.

Like an Actor Out Alone

I'm not a big Doors fan, I like them in small doses, every now and again, well enough.

But tonight I discovered that the perfect way to listen to Riders on the Storm was in the back of a smooth riding sedan, with a stranger for a driver.

That was pretty great.
Thanks, Silly Life, and the outlook I've got to enjoy it

Screw You, Frank

I hate when my insomnia comes with Frank Sinatra, stuck in my head, mocking and insulting me. I only have myself to blame though, I watched all those Vic Fontaine holosuite episodes of Star Trek before bed ...

Chicken, Chili and a Twitter Feed

Sunday cooking day.
I'm making chili in my crock pot, I roasted a chicken for dinner.
I made a ham and bacon quiche for a tea party with Amy in front of my Christmas tree.
And, if I get the energy up, I am going to finish making my candied cranberries.



Also realized this weekend that the Star Trek thing has gotten out of hand. I was listening to Eartha Kitt singing Santa Baby and realized that the male backup singer sounds just like Rom the Ferengi.



Oh, and in my quest to learn about the modern world, seeing as I have this new job that asks me to direct digital initiatives; mentor a smarty pants scholar in a research project involving social media; and, in general, pretend not to be a paper- making, 'zine dreaming luddite ... I have decided to figure out how Twitter works. And learn how to put my Twitter feed into my blog. How do ya like those bits and bytes? Feel free to call me an interim director of digital nonsense.

So Fucking Crazy You Can't Follow Their Rules

I think I'll Netflix stream The Killing of John Lennon tonight. I've never watched it.

Yesterday was amazing

but today was kind of awful and stupid.
What a difference a day makes.
Sigh.

Crossed over one of the river bridges into downtown. Always beautiful, sometimes painfully so in the way that beautiful can be.

What will make me happy tonight?
.... floaty pieces of paper, Angie, Mick Jagger in French.



Doesn't really matter if I can understand what he's telling me. I'm pretty sure it is something about shiny and tight pants and the difficulty of singing in the middle of a smoke machine.

Ryan Gosling Amazing?!

I don't even like Ryan Gosling in any particular way -- have never thought about him, but this site is great.

Librarian Hey Girl!

Culinary Amazing

This night is just filled with greatness!
I want to go on record as saying that zucchini, simmered in leftover Tom Ka soup from Thai Village is wonderful.

I often do spinach.
Today I had a big bunch of harcourt vert. Halfway through I remembered I had a zucchini that was getting past its prime so I sliced it and tossed it in. Yum, Yum!

I just made rice with the last of the soup and cannot wait for lunch tomorrow.

Equally Amazing

but in a speech way rather than a core and upper body strength way.



Link to Hillary Clinton's Human Rights Speech today.

Holy Crap

This is the most amazing thing I have seen in .. maybe forever.

Backup Singers

I've spent the past two days performing an annual holiday tradition: Oh Holy Night.
Multiple versions.
Replaying.
Comparing.
Measuring against Johnny Mathis.

I always end up complaining about backup singers... just like with Something a couple weeks ago.
I'm worried I have issues.

I love to sing along.
I love to sing the backup singer parts!
So I worry when I cringe at them and think of them as fruity 9 out of 10 times.

All this hating makes me need to get back to the source.
Back to the magic.
Back to The Pips.

Not Right Now

Just heard a Miranda Lambert cover of this song ... what's the point?
Eh. It was a bit too perky for my tastes.

Today I'd like to poke around in neighborhood shops for the holiday displays and events, but I really should not spend money. I have been spending like I actually have money rather than credit card debt. I've bought some really great things in the past month though! And I am wearing/using them a lot!

Let's see, what have I been spending money I don't have on:


Paperback edition of Moby-Dick in Pictures by Matt Kish.

And a pretty, simple, silver necklace on a long silver chain that goes with everything; a blue and green cuff bracelet that does not go with everything but has a nice burst of colors I like;a green backpack like bag made of recycled bottles that replaced my falling apart backpack that I was always worried I would lose my keys out of; a cool black purse made out of tire rubber that is the perfect size to carry a magazine.

Not really the hoard that someone who is trying to pay off her debt should have! And drinks and dinners and going to movies and storytelling events is not what I should be doing either. And last night I sat around contemplating how I should get an iPad and even looked at how I could use Pages to work with Word documents for work. The spirit of Consumer Holiday has obviously hit me.

Small Victories

Yesterday was a long and exhausting day but it was so nice to come home and have Friday night. I did spend the night editing a document submitted by a consultant and I do have to go into work for an hour or two today, but it still felt like the stress and pressure of the week stopped at about 5pm last night.

The email that stressed me out was resolved -- and I am pretty sure that the way I gathered information, that involved writing a custom report for Google Analytics -- resulted in more accurate results than had previously been provided. I was ridiculously proud of my ability to figure out how to get access to the stats and then learn to write the report to get the information I needed.

Hamburger Mary and Stories

Had fun at the 2nd Story event -- but cocktails, late dinner at Hamburger Mary's and coming home to an email from work asking me to do something I don't know how to do left me with restless sleep and waking up at 2am.

I look a wreck this morning and cannot wait for the weekend to start!

December

I'm feeling strangely excited about a fresh new month.
I'm happy to leave November behind me, just as I was happy to October in the past. With that track record, and knowing I'm not nearly healed yet, I shouldn't expect to feel in any way different about December when January 1 rolls around, but I'm hopeful.

My first thought this morning was December!
And then I thought about this song: I love the Gillian Welch vocals.



Then, of course, I had to listen to PJ Harvey Down by the Water too and then had to listen to all my versions of:


That video, with CSNY singing poolside to a bunch of muddy hippies, really made me smile.

Happy December to me!

Risk: I'm against this concept ... but would give it a try

From NPR: "This Thanksgiving week, many families will spend time together playing a board game or two. It's one of the oldest forms of entertainment, but there's still room for innovation — and a new board game in stores this season is shaking things up.

Whether you're playing Scrabble, Monopoly or Cranium, these games all have something in common that's not so obvious — and Rob Daviau, a game designer at Hasbro, figured it out. A few years ago, he was testing a new version of Clue. Playing it over and over again, he found that, just by chance, the same character kept coming up as the killer. So he wondered aloud: "I don't know why they keep inviting Mustard back. He's killed three people in a row."

And that got him thinking: "Why do board games always start over?" Daviau says. "They have no memory — it's like Groundhog Day. What if there was a way to make a board game sort of remember one game to the next, so it became an ongoing narrative rather than a series of isolated events?"

Video games already do this — we take that for granted. But for board games, this is uncharted territory. So Daviau decided to take this concept and apply it to another Hasbro classic: Risk.

The board is a map of the world, and each player gets a little plastic army. Players strategically move their troops across continents and roll dice in an effort to defeat their opponents.

Daviau's new version of the game is called Risk: Legacy. What makes this different from the original Risk is that choices you make change the game permanently. For example, a player building a city can name it whatever he or she wants. The name gets written in permanent marker on a label, which gets stuck to the board — and it stays there. You could try to pull it off, but you'd ruin both the sticker and the board. So in every game after this, whoever first controlled the city gets a bonus — forever.

At other times, players do destroy parts of the game. After certain events take place, players are instructed to open secret envelopes containing new components that change the way the game is played. At other times, players are instructed to literally rip up game cards and throw them away. That's hard for the true board game aficionados out there. When Risk: Legacy was announced, discussion on the hardcore board gamer website Board Game Geek was heated. Some thought the idea was genius, others were cautiously intrigued.

"I'm very careful with my games," says game lover Brad Minnigh. "So it's going to be hard for me to rip cards in half and throw away stuff."

Others were strongly against it. Walter O'Hara says he posted a comment calling the update of the classic game a "cynical money grab by Hasbro," and asked, "Do they think we're total morons?"

It's true, the game can't be reset. So if you want to start fresh, you need to buy a new copy — and this game costs more than $50. Daviau has heard this criticism before.

"If this was a real plan to get people to buy more board games, it probably wouldn't be in a Risk game that's being sold in the hobby markets," Daviau says. "This was really, start to finish, just a design project ... to play around with the assumptions of what a board game should and shouldn't be."

Risk: Legacy will be in specialty game stores and online — just in time to be ripped up and written over during the holidays."

mehna mehna

I have no desire to see the Muppet movie but I have been enjoying Sesame Street and Muppets clips on YouTube this morning while I eat breakfast.

And my personal favorite:

Ken Russell

RIP Ken Russell, you were a super weird guy.

Green

I forgot, maybe since it happened so quickly after the day began ... highlight of the day?

Now that most of the plants in the community garden have died off, I noticed a big and gorgeous sage plant. This morning the furry grey-green leaves were full of icy cold water drops and were very pretty.

This reminds me that I want take an inventory of my spices, make a list, and treat myself to a big spice shopping trip.

Calendars and Christmas Carols

This photo reminds me of Liberace.

In a bout of crazy, I filled my calendar for a week.
Holiday decorating, going to see The Last Waltz, In Fine Spirits for 2nd Story with "Lars."

Fun things.

I also want to go see Hugo and Margin Call ... and there is a Moth at Martyrs tomorrow night.

Monday Morning with The Miracles

I woke up this morning thinking of this song. Nice way to start the week.

Little Phrase

I know many people have found Odette and Gilberte irresistible.
I'm a big fan of involuntary memory, obsessive love, little phrases in piano and violin sonatas, and baked goods ... but I've decided that life is too short for me to ever continue reading Proust.




Sorry, Proust. Sorry Swann.
It gave me great joy to bring all three Moncrieff volumes to the Free Book Box this morning and I gained about 9 inches of bookshelf space.

Pretty

You have to go in about a minute before vocals start, but I love the violinist's vocals at some points.

Rainy Saturday.
I did go to the gym today ... highlight of the day so far was the walk home with rain splashing on my face and watching drops slide down the loopy curls that were forming. It was nice to have a cup of hot chocolate when I got in too.

She's a Ho....ly moly I finally found some concert footage

I've finally found two, horrible quality late 80s, live concert footage of Tragic Mulatto! I wish there was a great quality clip of I Don't Mind or Man with a Tan ... but She's a Ho is pretty good too.

Where are you Now?

I'm going through a Gogol Bordello fixation phase again. It is a lot like the Tragic Mulatto fixation phases.

Pork Sausage and Fat Bottomed Girls

Twenty years ago today, Freddie Mercury died.

I think I'm going to go convince my sister to play some Queen while we mix up the stuffing.

Dancing in the Street

Went to the Mall this morning to make a monkey at Build-a-Bear. In the car on the way home, Van Halen came on the radio and I was swept up in emotions as if I was 13 years old again. It was like time travel for half a minute.

I wonder how many times I listened to Diver Down in 1982-83?

Home for the Holidays

I took the train to Ann Arbor yesterday and am in Michigan for a few days of eating and drinking.

That recurring bout of headache/sore throat/lingering cough, that was diagnosed as "mold and dust allergy" came back on Sunday evening. I hope it does not stretch out for weeks again.

Last Waltz is playing at the Music Box 11/30, maybe I will go again. I saw it last time it was there (and then the next night Stop Making Sense) and it is fun to see on the big screen. And proceeds go to support Sound Opinions. Speaking of food and Sound Opinions, I wish they would do another one of the Eat to the Beat fundraisers. Or I guess maybe not, now.

Looking forward to getting back to Chicago for a couple days of rest at home before going back to work. I'm dreaming of two days of naps and mystery novels.

Unless I get this from Santa, I will never believe life is fair again!

"A new line of handmade jewelry featuring the Styx logo and select lyrics from the band's tunes is available now for pre-order from StyxWorld.com. The collection was a collaboration between singer/guitarist Tommy Shaw's wife, Jeanne, and New York-based designer Diana Warner, and includes guitar-pick earrings and eight dog-tag necklaces.

The necklaces feature charms made of various metals, including pewter, rose gold, gunmetal, antique gold and antique silver. The pieces are expected to begin shipping by early December. Prices range from $55 to $200.

"We're so thrilled to be able to offer something very special to Styx's fans that's worlds different than anything we've done before," Jeanne Shaw said in a statement. "We hope they love the collection as much as we do."

Other, limited-edition Styx jewelry pieces will be introduced in 2012."

Lonesome Valley

Highlight of the day? Finding this:

Data Curation, Linux, DAMS, ingest protocol, db.ini

I know life needs change.
I remember that from the points of change I've had, I still feel the haze of stagnation from the past couple of years.

I used to think I was good at the chaotic points of transition.
I was the one who made the quick decision to move out of state without a job and no friends when I got to the unknown location.

I'm supposed to be brave.
I'm supposed to be capable.
I'm supposed to adjust to what comes my way.

I'm not feeling that way right now.
I feel like I don't know what I'm doing with this new job. Very practical, knowledge-based things I just don't know. And I question when, if ever, I will be able to obtain the required knowledge.
I also feel so tired at the thought of trying to learn new things.

I'm only 43 (will be in March)but feel like one of the unfortunate, laid off seniors who are facing a job market that asks for radically different skill sets. I am lucky that my current skills are not undervalued, it's based on that reputation I've been asked to do this. But this is amazingly hard and a bit ego crushing.

I sit in meetings and feel like this is me:


I don't think I've ever related to a Republican Presidential candidate so much!

And now it is off to work for a few things. I purchased a book from Amazon, by an instructor from IIT that is one of our consultants on a project, that I hope is there. About web design.

I also hope I find my lost CTA card sitting on my desk. I suppose I should have made more of a fuss last night about losing my CTA card than losing Something.

I Want to Hate This

but those awesome "I Don't Knows" and that dress save it.
Lose the orchestra, though.
I'd like to see Shirley with Eric Clapton.
I'd like to hear Eric Clapton play Goldfinger.
I wonder if Eric Clapton has ever covered Powderfinger?
I think I might like to hear Shirley Bassey do Powderfinger.

My spirits are clearly lifting!
Something Therapy begins to work.


I can't believe I've never heard this.
I love the vocals.
Musicians and back up singers can be taken out back and whooped along with Bassey's and Frank's though.

Best I. Don't. Know. ever.

Fun fact from Google searching: "Harrison had the first line, "Something in the way she moves," but had trouble coming up with the second. He considered "attracts me like a pomegranate," before coming up with "attracts me like no other lover."

Funky

When I was in college, I used to talk about "Leonard Cohen therapy". Where nothing in my life felt nearly as depressing as the songs of Leonard Cohen.

Sometime in ... 1992 or 1993, I had Nick Cave Weeping Song therapy: listen to that enough times in a row and you can't help but start to giggle.

So tonight I'll try "Something Therapy" -- I want this favorite song back.



Still crying .. but maybe more about how beautiful ukelele is even though Paul is kind of my least favorite Beatle? Because this is so beautiful when it transition to Clapton, and I even love his singing here?


Too funky for tears.


Frank can't convince me he gives a hoot about her, he's such a misogynist.
He steals all the weepy power from this song and adds fruity harp. It does not make me cry in any way.

I still appreciate the

I don't know.
and the added
You stick around Jack.



Hey Elvis, I'm taking vicodin right now too!
I love you but you're sucking the passion out of this song just like Frank does.
Good for "Something Therapy" but for most days, your version won't work.

Nice jumpsuit though.

I lost Something

Something is always good to make me cry.
Every time it gets to the part

....askin' me will my love grow?
I don't knoooow.
I.don't. know.

I cry.

But tonight, everything changed and I am so sad about it.
This. This might be a turning point. A measuring stick.
How can I lose Something like this?

I heard it, and I heard:

Something in the way she moves ....

and my immediate, unfiltered though was:

She.
Not me.
It's the way she moves.
Not me.
There's nothing in the way I move.

Attracts me like no other lover

I'm just an "other lover".
I'm not she.

Don't wanna leave her now.
You know I believe and how

Don't want to leave her now or then or later.
Bit I can be left because I'm not her.

What a horrible Something to lose from my catalog of joy.
I'm giving myself until January 2012 to shake this depression and grief, and then if I can't listen to Something without feeling this way, I'm getting heavy drugs and a lobotomy.

In more life affirming news ... hmmm, highlight of the day?
Walking up to the grocery store and treating myself to pineapple and berries and a bottle Pelligrino.

Ohhh!

Tonight I made myself my first holiday season whiskey and ginger ale! I always call these "highballs" but I think that is officially something else. But my grandma called them highballs and that was the only drink I ever saw here drink. And in moderation at the holidays.

Big Money, Big Jackets

Not really.

If I think of my raise like dog years, I'm doing great.
My library doesn't have much money and my raise is big in our world. Not quite as big in the world known as Chicago. But it is more and .... if I use all of it to pay off credit card bill, I could do that in two years.

Sigh.

Let's talk about SHOPPING instead.

I am thinking of getting this super warm, waterproof/windproof, down insert jacket for winter this year.

Has a waist, so still feminine.
warm for bus stop.

But it is $499! I want it to be cuter for that and worry that in my current big size, I won't see the cute waist the model has and will just look like a pillow.

The other option is this one:



Same story, but only $250.

Two Hearted

Horrifying day filled with meetings and craziness and angry, frustrated people. But also filled with excited, ambitious, dedicated people just looking for ways to do great things.

I'll focus on the latter.

Wore two shoes for the first time in two weeks. And a dress instead of jeans.
Went to work with my hair washed.

Left work exhausted, but enough energy to meet J. at Happy Village for three bottles of Two-Hearted Ale.

Desperately need to write questions for the job interview we are conducting on Friday afternoon, but need to crawl in bed with a book.

Highlight of the day?
Listening to this while walking to the bus stop:

Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing

I hate this video but the only live version I could find was a sing along.
This was the song in my head yesterday morning.

A little bit of beauty in my ears during a pretty horrible time of life. I feel like I have to keep seeking beauty and happiness out and acknowledging it when I find it, or I'll just stop being myself all together. I can't imagine being the person shaped by what I feel right now. What is happening in me right now will make its mark, I'm sure, but it can't take control.

Oh, I also need to seek iron out and will be treating myself to burger at the diner tonight before class. And root beer.

Monday Monday

This week looks unbearable on my calendar. My only goal is to survive until Friday with enough energy to crawl into bed when I get home from work and sleep until the next one. Lab tests came back and even after all this surgery and the vitamins, I am still anemic. No real surprise, I've known that by how I feel. Need to schedule some more tests with embolization doctor to see how much the fibroids have shrunk, need to schedule appointment with regular lady parts doctor to talk about new pills and prescription iron pills. Gah!

I am so frustrated in another area too! Maybe it was a dream, maybe it was a podcast before I fell asleep? But at some point, I heard, or thought I heard, a song I wanted to make sure I never forgot. Maybe it will come to me during the day if I don't think about it.

So many wonderful things in life are elusive these days! I want to hold something amazing right in my hands. Or at least look at it or listen to it. I need something beautiful to come out of my imagination and into my life.

Sunday

Made soup, roasted peppers and watched some episodes of Deep Space 9.

eggs and beer

Amazingly, no eggs were broken even though this is what my shopping bag looked like when I got it home.

Do they Really Need the Name Tags on the Table?

Castles Burning

Welcome back regular form of insomnia.
Missed you last night!

Thanks to you, I started celebrating Neil Young's birthday early by listen to Massey Hall album at 4am.

Prosecco, Pain killers, Plans, Pamphlet Posts and Pallisers

Friday night.

Made Plans to go to Ann Arbor for Pilgrim holiday ... Put in request for mashed Potatoes even if we don't need more carbs. Made Plans for Posts on the French Pamphlet blog.

Turned my heat on for the first time this season. No "p" there but now I can Pull my Pants down to Pee without freezing.

Downloaded Phineas Finn so I can listen to it while I laze around with my foot elevated and iced this weekend.

Oh, and I ate all of my homemade dill Pickles.

Sidewalk Space

Two of my favorite things I ever found on the sidewalk. Both of them space related.

Palliser Novels

No sleep for me tonight even though I am exhausted. At least this is a variation on my normal insomnia which is waking up at 2 or 3 am. This time I just never fall asleep.

Since I'm up, I am relaxing with one of my favorite books of all time -- Can You Forgive Her? by Trollope. Since it is the first book in the Palliser series, this probably means I will re-read all of them. It has been about a decade, closer to a dozen years, since the last reading. I'm looking forward to this novel project.

Writing in Books

As a rare book librarian, people assume I am against writing in books and think I probably shudder when I see someone turn a corner to mark their page.

I do both of these things all the time.

I like to make a book mine, I don't mind when I drip salad dressing on the pages or when I eat a big juicy cheeseburger and the condiments blob onto my pages, it's part of my memory of reading the book.

Recently, I've been working through Dark Stuff and I've wanted to put the date when I read the book. I've also been curious about when the article was originally written, so I have been checking the credits up front before I start to to read and putting it under the title.

Someone else can take care of creating the archive, this book is MINE!

Brave New World for Batgirl

New job will open up new worlds and new dynamics for me. I've been cloistered in the cataloging workroom for long enough that the full power of know it all, sexist academics had been forgotten.

There have been touches of it, I've been working with "map guys" all along and there is some sense by one or two of them that what I know and contribute is less important than their map guy in-depth knowledge.

But I think in the technology area and working with all these academics in publication related stuff, there will be an steep increase in bullshit.

Had a long conversation with the guy I am taking over from about one of the projects and one of the vendors we work with. He was talking about a prior project where one of the (female) editors and this guy did not get along. I asked what the source of tension was and he paused and said .. "honestly, I think a big part of it was sexism."

Hello 2011!

I Need Vegetables

I think I need more vegetables .. I have tons of bread in the house but no leafy greens. I feel yucky and need some lettuce.

Secret Places, part 1-2 draft

I love my Chicago neighborhood, but after my ground-floor, back of the building apartment was broken into twice in six months and, rather than doing something about building security, my landlord treated me like I was a stupid girl who probably just left my doors and windows unlocked when I left the house,I decided it was time to move to a new building.

I walked around looking for For Rent signs,
I checked The Reader,
and for the first time ever, I looked for ads on Craigslist.

I was excited to see a listing for a sublet in my price range just 8 houses away.
I grabbed my shoes,
locked my windows and doors ... I'm not stupid,
and I ran down the street to take a look.

Nice!
It was an old brick building and there was beautiful stained glass above the picture window. I went back home and responded to the ad and 20 minutes later I was in the apartment.

The young married couple who had just closed on a condo was already packing up boxes and distractedly let me roam around with just their big, friendly dog for company. They shouted selling points about the apartment while I wandered

The water pressure is kind of weak ... but the water is really hot!

We've been here for five years and have never had a bug problem. Well, there are those blond hairy creepy millipedes that are everywhere in Chicago, but nothing else"

I went into the small room off the dining area.
It was perfect.
It was underneath the steps going to the second floor apartment and had a slanty, Dr. Caligari ceiling.
There was a little cubby at the back, just the right size for a bookcase.

We use that room for an office, but you can fit a double-sized bed in there if you wanted a spare bedroom.

The door back there is painted sealed shut. They plastered over the other side in the building entryway.

I've never met an old doorknob I didn't want to turn.
I walked over and jiggled it in spite of their explanation.
It creaked and it stuck and I pulled a little harder.

We won't need that desk, we could leave it for you if you want it?

It opened .... just a few inches, with a puff of dust and cobwebs.
I coughed and the dog sneezed.

Sorry about all this dust, we've been kicking everything up with all this packing. We'll mop and clean everything before we leave.


That's okay, I know how it is with wood floors!

I didn't tell them what I found. I poked my nose and squeezed my face in the narrow door opening and my eyes were adjusting to the dim light in the little room, more of a closet than a room. There were stacks of Viewmaster reels in one corner and several shoeboxes full of something shiny .. buttons maybe? And a rack of old dresses, but they didn't look like the tiny size 00 dresses in vintage shops, these dresses looked like they might be big!

Part 2

I moved to Chicago from Denver in 2002, but every once in awhile, I can catch a glimpse of the city with my visitor's eyes instead of my resident eyes.

It's big with those eyes and more confusing.
CTA seems serpentine and complicated instead of just inadequate, infrequent and full of regulars on my morning commute.
I can usually figure out which way is East, but North from South is tricky and I can't figure out how to get to Cabaret Metro from the Art Institute.

My first visits to Chicago were in the late 80s.
My college boyfriend Marty and I would drive down from Detroit for weekend trips and stay at the Hotel Cass, the only place in town we could afford.
Hotel Cass is not far from where I work now, and has been bought out and renovated by Holiday Inn Express.
There's a sleek new sign outside and the graffiti has been scrubbed.
I've peaked into the lobby and the bullet-proof glass is gone and the surly clerk with the greasy comb over has been replaced with a team of attractive young women with uniforms and French twists.
They've probably fixed the elevators, the plumbing and the air-conditioners too.
But I still see what's behind it.

I've had similar, but opposite experiences too, when I've gone home to visit familiar places in Detroit or Denver. {>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>to be finished}

Aurora Borealis Comes in View

but apparently in Ohio, not in Illinois. That is disappointing, I would love to see the Northern Lights.

I'll have to settle for enjoying a low budget 80s video with girls dressed in trashbags wandering around in a circle of mirrors.

I have not gotten much writing done today, I tried not taking the pain medication so I'd be less fuzzy, and I suppose I am less fuzzy. But I am still unfocused and .. in pain. I've also managed to over eat (a regular event lately) and feel both exhausted and jittery at the same time. I think I'll take a nap and see if I wake up in a better place.

Pumpkin Orange Ginger Bread with Chocolate Chips

Started my day with homemade pumpkin bread and enjoying these crazy orange and purple flowers I bought for myself.

I also listened to Zuma.

This weekend was a sort of anniversary for me too, just not one celebrated. Or at least not celebrated in a way other than listening to Neil Young, eating pumpkin bread and buying flowers for myself. I suppose that was more honoring it than celebrating it.

And now I desperately need to spend some time writing a story for class. Maybe I will go to the coffee shop, I can't seem to get settled and focused anywhere. I do want to check my back log to see if I wrote down a version of a particular story I know I wrote a few years ago.

Lazy Saturday

Well, I may not know where you are but I was in my bed with my foot propped up for most of the morning.

The party was fun last night, hectic getting started but once it was underway, it was a good time and good food. I work with some interesting people and now I have a giant pot of bakoula to eat during the upcoming week! My brussels sprouts are all gone but were amazing. I also loved the roasted radishes tossed with roasted cauliflower puree, feta and garlic.

My goal for the weekend is to take it easy, last week was crazy and busy and I need some reading and writing down time. First thing first though, my kitchen is a giant mess. It's time for podcasts and dishwashing.

where

are you right now?
Where are you right now?
Where are you right now?
Where are you right now?

Brussels Sprouts

Why am I up at 3:30am looking at brussels sprouts recipes?
I guess it's better than looking at this pile of resumes that need to be reviewed.

Hey Dominick's, if you claim to be open 24 hours, you should be open for business when I limp up there at 4:30am. Thanks for nothing!

Last day on the Geneaology Desk

One bright side of this new position is that I finally get to stop working the genealogy reference desk.

I had my last shift tonight.

Fourteen hour work day on pain killers and not enough sleep. I am really wiped. Weirdly, the bottom of my face went numb for awhile on the bus ride home.

Went to Crust and had Carbonara Pizza, now I am overstuffed.

8:30am meeting with programmers about Mapping Movement project, 10am meeting with Director of Research and Academic Programs about what my new job is supposed to do, 11:30-2 meeting to review 115 resumes for one job.

Then run to grocery store to get food for get together, run home to make some food.

Hope everyone wants to have an early night, I might fall asleep on my company.

Sushi at 4am

Woke up at 4am ... ate my leftover lunch sushi.

Cheese and Pickles

I opened a bottle of wine, cleaned my kitchen, and made a cheese and pickle sandwich to lift my spirits.

The other day, Megan mentioned that she re-uses her pickle juice to marinate cucumbers. I decided to try it. I did boil the cukes to soften and make them more picklish. They are pretty good.

Mood improved. Not perfected, but improved.

Purple

I went through a purple phase, lots of little girls do. I have to say that the crazy purple bruising on the toes next to the one surgified are pretty ugly though. I pushed the bandage down and peeked today.

Ouch! what in the world did they do to those poor toes?

I had my first day back at work today and it was an extra long one too. I feel like I am going to drop and was so crabby on the bus ride home I was afraid I was going to snarl at someone.

I think I might retire to bed with Deep Space Nine soon.

I have this staff get together at my house Friday night, planned before I scheduled surgery. I need to grocery shop and make a few things and make sure the place is cleaned up. I kind of wanted to go to this tomorrow though and I don't know how I would have time to do everything:

This Thursday: 2nd Story and Chicago Fusion Theater!

Hey 2nd Story Community, we have an exciting collaboration coming up this Thursday November 3rd with Chicago Fusion Theater. 2nd Story storytellers Bobby Biedrzycki and Sara Kerastas will be telling stories before Fusion's production of Boy in Black. The show is a charming romantic comedy that takes on the complex idea of love in the modern world. The stories will be crafted in conversation with the show and will be part of a pre-show party that takes place from 7pm-8pm. The event will take place at the Royal George Theater and is part of the League of Chicago Theater's Theater Thursday promotion. One ticket to the play gets you a party, stories, and the play. We would love to see your faces.

Thursday, November 3, 7:00 PM
Event begins at 7:00 PM
Show begins at 8:00 PM
Tickets $20.00

I feel really exhausted right now and a bit resentful.

Two people cancelled today for this thing for Friday and I wish I had never planned it.

My toes hurt.

My boyfriend loves his wife more than me.

I have that weird fidgety and itchy finger thing I get whenever I take pain killers.

I want to write my story for class but have no concentration.

I think that covers my major gripes for the moment.

Cinnamon Toast

Cinnamon toast and Michigan Macintosh apple for breakfast.
Delicious!

Limping Up the Hancock

I can't believe that with a foot like this, I decided to sign up for Hustle Up the Hancock again this year.

That was the hardest thing I've ever done, way way harder than any of the runs. I thought my quads were going to fall off.

I really need to do better training this time!

First Roast Chicken of Autumn

For a woman taking vicodin (Norco, actually) I was super manic yesterday.
For a woman who just had toe surgery I was on on my feet all day.
And for a woman who was on painkillers and on her feet all day I sure had a hard time falling asleep last night.

After surgery, Megan, one of my catalogers, met me so they could discharge me. We took a taxi to Handlebar and then headed of home. M. doesn't come to this side of town often, she's a Red Line kind of person. I went to the pharmacy to get my Norco and a chicken. I did rest for a couple hours, watching more Deep Space Nine but not sleeping, before I went out to the porch to pass out candy to kids. I enjoyed that, lots of saying hello to neighbors walking dogs and parents. Most of the kids were younger and cute.

After that I was really riled up. I think I wanted some human connection, I know I wished I could spend the evening (a lifetime of evenings) with B.

So I roasted a chicken.
And I made some stuffing.
And I made an orange-ginger thing that I will use in a recipe I'm making up for pumpkin bread.

I also made lunch plans with Chris today. Writing class is not far from his house so I am going to meet him at 2:30, hang out and have lunch and then go write in a coffee shop until class starts at 6:30.

Big day, Little bones

I did not get much of anything done yesterday. No grocery shopping, no food ready for when I get home later.

I also have no jack-o-lantern and no candy.

I'm just not very well prepared for being gimpy and alone in a house on Halloween. Then again, is anyone ever really prepared for that?

I spent most of my day yesterday out reading (Nick Kent, Dark Stuff and I have some thoughts and comments to write about later) and writing a story that is not finished and kind of drifted off to nowhere midway through. Okay, and sulking a bit too. I wonder how the anniversary celebration trip is going.

This morning I am hungry, thirsty, and I have to pee but I will have to pee in a cup again when I get there and since I can't drink anything I need to have something to pee into the cup. Biscuits and Gravy and a big pot of tea sounds like a way better morning than this.

Tricky Dick and Rock Stars

I'm trying to read unread New Yorkers and books I started and didn't finish. There are tons of them! The past two years I get 3/4 finished with a book (non-fiction, I usually finish fiction) and then get distracted with a new book instead.




Right now I have identified the following to read:
Nixonland
Ozzy
Bowie
Life (Keith Richards)
Phish the Biography
Dark Stuff (Nick Kent)
Nick Cave: Sinner Saint

hmmmm, minus Nixon there is a bit of a them there of music. With Nixon there is still the theme of biography. And men. On the side of the ladies, the only music biography I did finish lately has been Just Kids. Although I suppose you could argue that is not about Patti Smith but about Robert Maplethorpe.

Busy day for me and I'm trying to get myself into a good place, not easy to do with everything I see when I close my eyes and imagine in the back of my mind at all times.
I need to go grocery shopping to stock up and need to get house cleaned completely so it is ready to laze about for two days.
I need to do laundry and I think I will roast a chicken and then make a chicken pot pie to heat up tomorrow for dinner.
I want to get a pumpkin and carve it.
I want to get some potting soil and take care of a bunch of plants.
I need to lug my air conditioner to the back room.
I need to remove screens and put down storm windows in several windows.
And maybe I will make an apple pie.