Shooting Fish in a Barrel

I'm in a weird dream phase.

Last night I had one that involved a huge, muddy pit filled with water that was inexplicable clear. People lined the sides of the pit with harpoon guns while a man with a giant, inflatable fin swam back and forth. I didn't have a harpoon gun and asked the guy standing next to me how people could be sure they'd hit the fin and not the guy.

So this morning I listened to Moby Dick while searching the Internet for a song that had the lyrics "shooting fish in a barrel." I didn't find one and I'm pretty disappointed. There must be one out there, right?

I did find a thread with that title at the Gordon Lightfoot forums though. That made me feel a bit better but I won't be satisfied until I get that phrase in a song. It will probably be a country song.

American History 101

Everything I know about Charles Guiteau I learned from the Kelly Harrell song on The Anthology of American Folk Music and a student performance of Assassins. I realized this last night and wondered what other events and people in American History I would have no clue about if I hadn't heard a song. History classes in grade school and high school stunk. It seemed like every year we would start with the Magna Carta and, if we were lucky, get close to the end of the American Revolution by year's end.

I did have one interesting history teacher in high school, I remember him demonstrating the principal behind the flying buttress by leaning spread-eagle and in frisking position against the classroom wall. He also told us tales about how mind numbingly-boring it was to work in the GM assembly lines. The employees used to pile empty liquor bottles in the bathroom stalls at the plant. I don't think that was part of a labor history curriculum though, it was more of a "stay in school and go to college" pep talk. By the time I got to college, there were great courses to take, but I had sold my soul to the Middle Ages and was pretty focused.

Would I have ever learned about The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald if it wasn't for Gordon Lightfoot? What about Kent State if not for Neil Young? Probably, I love the Great Lakes Shipwreck Museum and that iconic Kent State photograph is everywhere.

I wish now, though, that I had taken some modern history courses. I find my interests lean that way more and more; it's a good thing I have access to books and the Internet and I can read.

Fun facts about Charles Guiteau:
1. Part of his brain is on display at the Mütter Museum in Philadelphia
2. When the jury at his trial read the guilty verdict he yelled: "you are all low, consummate jackasses"
3. Garfield died 11 weeks after being shot by Guiteau of complications of infection brought about by doctors poking at him with unwashed hands and medical instruments.