I'm going off the rails on a Crazy Train

So this morning I crossed some official line into spinster crazy. I did not adopt a dozen cats although a kitten does sound nice right now. Instead, I woke up thinking, "where is that spare key?"

I have a set of spare keys for emergency and if someone comes to town. Most of them go unused but the key to the back door gets a bit more circulation. When my friend from San Diego visited last, I gave it to her so she could get around. I sometimes keep it on a book shelve near the back door so that I could grab it easily and get out in case of fire.(I hate doors that require a key to open it, I can't believe that isn't some fire code violation. The last thing I want to be doing when smoke fills my apartment is fumbling for a key so I can get out ...) Anyway, this key has moved around a bit more than the others from the spare set and I realized I did not know its location at that exact moment.

Of course I spent my morning turning the house upside down looking for it but didn't. While it is far more likely it slipped behind a book or to the back of a drawer, I'm now convinced the burglar took it and plans to use it in the future to come back and let himself in. It wasn't used to get out last week (he came in through a window and went out through the other door) but that could be part of the plan, right? So what can a person who has to go to work do until a locksmith comes? Barricade the door of course. Yes, I pushed my couch across the room to make it less convenient to open that door. I'm about a week away from designing traps like the Collyer brothers and buying a shot gun.

Set list for the walk to work:

Crazy (Gnarls Barkley)
Crazy (Patsy Cline)
Crazy (Willie Nelson)
Crazy (Sarah Jarosz)
Crazy Dreams (Patsy Cline)
Crazy Face (Van Morrison)
Crazy Fingers (Grateful Dead)
Crazy Little Thing Called Love (Queen)
Crazy Mama (Richard Manuel)
Crazy Train (Ozzy)
Baby Drives me Crazy (Thin Lizzy)
I'll go Crazy (James Brown)
Mama We're All Crazy Now (Quiet Riot)
Shine on You Crazy Diamond (Pink Floyd)
Still Crazy After All these Years (S&G)
You're Crazy (Guns and Roses)

and a little interview blurb by Townes Van Zandt called Wild Crazy Things from Be Here to Love Me.

UPDATE: My friend H. still has the spare key. My barricading efforts were in vain. I still think I'm at least three steps closer to complete loopiness.